8.11.11

I guess after an almost 2 month long hiatus its time for an update. Although my life is rather monotonous, I figured anyone who reads this is bound to get tired of reading about cards game after cards game after cards game and I wish I had more to write about. But alas, I sit here and hope that time goes by slowly before its time to return to yet another game.

Summer is on its way out and I can't say that I am too terribly upset. I'm ready for fall, ready for school even, ready for cooler weather and an end to this blistering heat and sweaters and boots. This summer has definitely been an excellent one. Full of laughter and good times with good friends. Although, its hard to imagine life without seeing these people that I've come so accustomed to seeing every day. The news is telling me to stay inside because of the heat, so what do I do go work outside and these people have endured through it with me every step of the way. The break in the heat that we have right now is so glorious, a little peek for whats to come for fall.

This summer has been one I will never forget. I am feeling positive towards whats to come. There isn't much new going on. I am enjoying a relatively stress-free, definitely drama-free lifestyle. There are of course bumps in the road from time to time. But for now life is stable and I can't complain there. I'm back in a continuous work out schedule and living an all around healthy lifestyle. It's been a long time since I've truly just focused on myself and it is truly a great feeling. I really can say for once that I am content with where I am in my life.

‎"I prayed for peace and learned to accept otherwise unconditionally"

6.25.11

Even though its technically the 26th of June now. It still feels like the 25th. June 25th will be forever etched in my memory. Especially June 25th, 2010. The hardest day of my life. This day, one year ago, we received the news that Keith had been officially diagnosed with stage 4 glyioblastomic brain cancer. They gave him 6 months to live, look where we are a whole year later. This day one year ago changed my life forever.

It taught me to never take another day for granted. To enjoy each and every moment. To realize the little things in life. Because we seriously never know what tomorrow will bring. I am so close to being done with this homestand. T-minus 2 more games. This has been one exhausting homestand. Especially with the warm weather, our crowds are getting larger and larger. Seriously, I am exhausted. I cannot wait for a week of family time. Better yet, I can't wait to plan my parents coming to Springfield to see me! A year ago I was devastated, but today I am hopeful. Hopeful for the many years I know we have to come. But most of all, thankful that I have such a wonderful man such as my stepfather, Keith. I couldn't ask for a more supportive and loving stepdad. So this day, here's to you Keith. I love you so much.

My favorite movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, is on right now. So that and my bed is where I am headed. Until next time, xox

"we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ♥

6.23.11

Life has been busy busy busy lately. Halfway through an 8 game homestand. Is the end in sight? Heading home to STL is all I can think about lately. I feel like it has been forever since I've been able to get home and spend some quality time with my family. God continues to bless my family with the stability of Keith's cancer. I can only hope that it will continue for many more MRI's. I don't know how all of this is going to work out, but at least I know I have someone on my side.

"For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go" Psalms 91:11 ♥

As for the first half of the homestand, the Card's went 1-4. The pitching continues to struggle, especially against the Arkansas Travelers. The Travelers finished off the first half of the season in first place. Since everything is zeroed out now, I'm hoping the Cards can have a fresh start. Especially with Shelby Miller getting settled in here in Springfield. Hopefully we will get back on track.

My parents successfully made it to and from Mexico. It was good for them to get out of town for a few days. The doctors said they might as well travel while he's still healthy and they still can. As for me, people continue to amaze me. I couldn't be more blessed with the people I have in my life. Those who have stuck around as well as the new ones in my life. I find it funny as time wears on how peoples' true colors show through. As for me, I'm going to continue to live in the moment. Try to just focus on me, and be happy exactly where I am. Enjoy the little things in life. Which include lately: friends, summer, baseball, family, sunshine, and counting down the hours till I'll be home in STL for a little while. Until next time, xox.

‎"There's a point in your life when you know who stays forever & who's just around for a while."

6.13.11

Two updates in a row. Obviously I am home with some free time because this never happens. I'll make this short though. Today Keith received news that his MRI was once again stable. The magic word, stable. Thank you to everyone for all of your prayers, thoughts, kind words, and support. I would not be able to get through all of this without them. As for my parents, they are off to Mexico for some much needed relaxation while I head back to Springfield to work. Is this what being a grown up is like? Because if it is, I don't want to grow up, ever.

As for the sports world, the NBA finals are finally over. We can finally stop hearing constantly about the self-annoited King Lebron James. I do feel a tiny bit bad for him because for the next few months he will endlessly be the brunt of all kinds of jokes. My personal favorite so far, "The reason Lebron never went to college was because he knew he would fail the finals." He brought it on himself though if you ask me. Lebron averaged only 17.8 points during the Finals which is nearly 9 points less than his normal game average of 26.7 points.

Also, I am all for athletes giving credit to the Man upstairs but Lebron's tweet last night "The Greater Man upstairs knows when it's my time, right now just isn't the time" felt more like he was placing the blame for his lack luster performance during the Finals on God instead of himself. But who am I to judge right?

Besides, at the rate the sports industry is going we will have no football or basketball next season. I am keeping my fingers crossed that these execs figure out their differences and put an end to all this lockout talk. I just want to watch sports. Until next time. xox

6.12.11

So at times I feel as if my life is monotonous. I do the same things just about every day. Workout, cook, cardinals, hang out with friends. And then I got to thinking and realized just how beautiful that monotony is. Life is nothing short of beautiful lately. Filled with laughter, smiles, and tons of baseball. But there really isn't such a thing as too much baseball.

Ever wish your life turned out like a great 80s John Hughes movie? Because I know that I sure do. But I need to stop that, because by doing that I am missing all of the great little things that are happening right now in my life. I get to spend every day with people that I love, people that make me happy, working in a job where I have to watch sports. Could life get any better? Sure, there are things that could use a little tweaking but who am I to be selfish.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about being happy about the stability in my life. And it continues to prove itself to me. These past few weeks have really shown me how to be happy exactly where I am in life. To honestly do exactly what makes me happy. I have so many wonderful people in my life, I'd be silly to let it all pass me by. So much has changed in the last year. I've grown so much as person as life continues to test me.

I don't want things to change. Things are so good exactly where they are. So stable. Keith has an MRI tomorrow. So if you're reading this, we could use a little prayer shout out tomorrow. The prayers from everyone seem to be working so far as we quickly approach one year since his battle with cancer began. So keep them coming!! :) I will continue to remain positive that we will get good results from his MRI tomorrow. And if we don't, I know that we will never stop fighting this battle against cancer.

As for the Springfield Cardinals, they continue their fight back towards .500. They went 3-5 in this last series with the Tulsa Drillers including a double header, #1 prospect Shelby Miller's home debut, a walk off win from Steven Hill, and the first cycle ever in the franchise history by Domnit Bolivar. Talk about a packed homestand. The Cards put up quite a fight against the Drillers as all games were a constant see saw battle for the win. I thought for sure we had the last game in the bag till a series of bad calls from the umps made it hard to recover. Although, in baseball, there is always next time. The Cards are back on the road for the next week before we start another long 8 game homestand.

Do me a favor. Shoot my family a little prayer tomorrow. They are always greatly appreciated and obviously working. The battle continues to march towards one year since we got the devastating news that Keith had cancer. One year, can you believe it? Because I sure can't. It has flown by. Until next time. xox

"I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. "

5.30.11

I realize it's been awhile since I last blogged. Things have been much of the same. Cardinals = my entire summer. My new roommate, Jordan has moved in and we have been having a blast. It's so nice having someone to live with that is so fun to be around. This new chapter in my life seems to be such a roller coaster. But it is so refreshing. I am so looking forward to what this summer will consist of.

Jordan works at the Cardinals with me so we spend alot of time together. But it just seems to make things more fun. We seem to like the same things, and think the same so i am excited to see what the next year has to hold. But until then, I am going to just enjoy this life I have been given. All of the interns seem to becoming better friends. Not everyone is including themselves but a lot of us have started doing stuff outside of work. I am so happy to be making new friends and having so much fun. We almost always try to do something after the game or on our days off.

It seems that in the light of all the saddness of the Joplin tornadoes, there is still hope. This rainbow popped up after it poured rain on us at the game on Thursday. It's the little things in life that matter most. As of right now, I don't have much going on besides Cardinals. Keith has another treatment tomorrow, and starts chemo again on Friday. But I miss my family, I hate being away from them. But I will continue to figure it out. Until next time. xox

5.9.11

It's been a little while since I updated this. My life has fallen into a serious routine. School, Cardinals, Sleep, School, Cardinals, Sleep, rinse and repeat. Hopefully once summer comes, the intensity of this internship won't seem so large. With finals upon all of us still in school, I can almost guarantee I am not the only one struggling to find the needed focus for all the studying I need to do. I am choosing instead to update this.

Missouri seems to be plagued with rain lately. Rain, rain, rain, and more rain. It will be gorgeous for 2 or 3 days (insert the last few days of gorgeous sun) and then the downpour will return. The last homestead of Cardinals game was 8 games long, an eternity at best. 7 of 8 games had rain delays, 2 of which ended up being completely rained out and cancelled, a double header with a 2 hour rain delay, and an exhausting week of late nights and too much rain at the ball park. But regardless of how tired I was, I enjoy being there. Definitely a good sign that I am doing what I really want to be doing.

About a week ago, Keith had another scan just to make sure his treatments continue to work. So the MRI showed no change, or that his cancer is stable for now. Kind of goes along with the saying "no news is good news". We continue to be happy with the results of stable. Now this doesn't mean that his cancer is gone, it just means that the treatments he's doing are keeping the cancer from spreading anywhere else.

Keith is on a tumor starving or "anti-angiogenic" therapy called Avastin. Every 2 weeks, my parents go down to the cancer center and they hook him up to a machine that delivers this cancer fighting medicine. It is very similar to chemotherapy, except that its not chemo. Chemotherapy attacks all cells and cannot distinguish between the good and the bad cells in a person's body. Thus the reason behind the hair loss, extreme fatigue, nausea, and many other terrible side effects of chemo. Anti-angiogenic therapies attack the blood supply of the tumor and cut it off completely, starving the tumor of the necessary blood to grow larger and spread.

The hope is eventually this treatment will completely kill off the tumor. We are still awaiting this result but like I said will continue to be happy with the result of stable. We continue to be happy about the results of treatment and live each day and enjoy it as much as possible. I try to wake up and put a smile on my face every day knowing that we are simply blessed to have it. There are so many terrible things happening all over the world that sometimes we lose sight of what it is to truly be happy. Even through the hard times, I encourage everyone to put a smile on their face and just figure it out as they go along. It's not always easy, but it seems to be working for me.

As much as I enjoy writing this blog and delaying my studying, it is time for me to do so before another sure to be fun and adventure filled evening with the Cardinals. Happy studying to all.

"‎"If you don't get happy where you are, you will never get to where you want to be." ♥